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This page will change from time to time as I add more of my own experiences. These will probably be
the most difficult articles I have ever written, as I face up
to my failures in life.
But I take courage in the
fact, that I looked in the back of the book (The Bible) and we
won.
1. Well here goes. I will add to this list as the Holy Spirit punctures my heart and encourages me to be honest with the world. Yes, my friend, I am willing to let you peek into my heart.
Jumping out at me is "1 Thessalonians 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil. "
Wow, do I love to sin! You know many sins have severe consequences and are not fun, but most sin is fun. Last evening (Oct 2003) I dropped off a friend at a local church to an Alcoholics Anonymous meeting. I could not help but notice that the parking lot was very crowded.
I am sure these men and women who were caught in the "fun" web of the drinking and partying atmosphere were there for a reason. They had finally figured out that this "fun" was devasting to their lives. Many have lost family and friends by their "fun" lifestyle.
Only a vital life sustaining relationship with the Lord Jesus can deliver us from this attitude.
Today I spend time with Him, and I put on the armor this morning. God help me do that every day of my life.
When the armor is on, and the sword is in the hand, the sin does not appear fun, but God's word reveals and shows us the light.
It would seem to be a very hard thing to involve yourself in a den of iniquity if you had visualized putting on the "breastplate of righteousness" and it would be difficult to walk into a bar with the intention to get drunk, with the "shoes of the gospel" on your feet. "The entrance of thy word, gives light." Psalm 119:130.
And so my weakness is going into places that I should stay away from. During the early part of 2004, God shed some new light into my life. This link will tell you about how He did that.
My Exciting Escape from Prison
2. Mar 11, 2006. The tongue!!!!Wow, have I messed that one up. The Bible is full of references on the damage we can do with the tongue. Seems like I have a permanent case of "hoof and mouth" disease. Some of you might have read about my son and his involvement with cocaine. The story is on my main page of my website.
Well with all this pressure on my marriage, my tongue did permanent damage to my wife, who is now my ex-wife. I became very angry over how we dealt with my son, and many other things in our marriage. I let the devil come in like a storm, and when I tried to fix it, it seemed to be too late.
James talks of the tongue being like a fire. And I sure burned up my wife with my angry tirade. It seems like I made too many withdrawals from her emotional bank account, and bankrupted my marriage.
It took a toll on the other kids also, and now I am fighting to walk in faith, as I finalize the divorce proceedings and divide up the property.
Yes, I apologized many times over the last few months, but it did not help. If you find yourself in the middle of a mess like this, please get some help from a competent counselor or pastor, and just shut your mouth and quit running down your spouse. Words destroy, words corrupt, and words do permanent damage.
I cannot understand why she can't forgive me, but I just have to watch my heart and keep from bitterness and anger. My job is still to give to her emotionally, and take care of her needs. If I go through life with a bad attitude, then it will just eat up my soul, and make me ineffective as a believer.
Millions of folks have gone through this, and the fractured relationships carry over into new marriages, bringing the old baggage from the previous marriage.
If I had to pinpoint one thing I really did wrong, it was not praying with my wife every day. It seems that we started doing this many times, but busyness took over and the "other things entering in" stopped this from happening.
One man said to me, that fifty percent of the marriages in the United States end in divorce, but the statistics of a family that prays together on a daily basis, is one in ten thousand of those marriages fail.
So if God does give me another wife, then I hope I can put this failure of my life to work in the new relationship.
Note on Sept 18, 2009.
God has taken me on an awesome journey over the last five plus years. Not always a fun ride, but very exciting. It took that long to settle my property settlement with my ex-wife. But now God has given me a new wife. Thank you Lord. We have been married since January 2008 and are working on making things work in our lives. She had a bad marriage also, so we are weaving together our lives and looking at our challenges and trusting God to help us through to the end.
I learned many valuable lessons from my mistakes with my first wife, and am working very hard to not make the same mistakes again. I have done that many times also, but my new wife and I have a very forgiving spirit toward each other, and when we do mess up, we cool off, say we are sorry, and continue on. One of these days, I will be with Jesus, and will not have these struggles anymore. But until then, I trust in Him to build our family.
Jim Young
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